Keurig 2.0 Ohhhhhh

As you know, I love my coffee.

I’m the only one in the house that drinks coffee though, so a while back I decided to pony up for a Keurig.

I loved that thing.

I could have a hot cup of coffee whenever I wanted and didn’t need at brew a whole pot (or reheat one from a cold pot) every time.

So when Keurig asked me if I wanted to try the new Keurig 2.0 I was all like “Oh hell yes!”

This is it. It’s all nice and fancy and sleek and stuff.

I had the base model Keurig before so this was a real step up.

These are the new bells and whistles on this sucker:

  • You can brew a whole pot of coffee with this with the new larger k-carafe format. I find this really handy when people come over – I used to have to burn through a ton of k-cups before.
  • It has a huge water reservoir so I’m not constantly filling it
  • It has a touch display where you can adjust the strength of your coffee, how much water you want, auto-brewing, etc.
  • It also had a little night light in the water reservoir which I got strangely giddy about (I’m still not sure why I care)
  • It was really easy to set up. You know how I am about just taking stuff out of the box and running with it. Well, I have yet to read the instructions so I’m calling very user friendly.
k-cup vs the k-carafe

k-cup vs the k-carafe

Things to consider:

I found the hot water only function a little bit of a pain in the ass. You have to hold it down to get the water to come out whereas I just used to hit ‘brew’ without a k-cup in there for my old one. #firstworldproblem

My little basket brewer thing that I used in my old machine no longer works in this one. Not a big deal seeing as I rarely used it anyway.

This machine requires updated k-cups. There’s a ring or a dot on the top of the new ones to tell the machine whether it’s a regular size or a pot size cup plus brewing details. If you have old k-cups (like I did because I hoard them) the machine won’t read it. It will give you an “Oops, this doesn’t appear to be a K-cup” even though you know damn well it is so you want to drop kick this fucker off a cliff (mainly because you haven’t had your coffee yet.) Once I called customer service* and found out what the problem was I was talked off the ledge and it was fine, plus, Keurig is replacing all the k-cups out there with new ones right now. If you have an old machine just use all your non-ring k-cups up so you don’t have an a.m. meltdown like I did.

A few people are making a big stink about Keurig trying to force consumers into only use their brand of k-cups with this coloured ring thing, but I haven't found that to be the case. I bought I giant box of Kirkland brand k-cups and it had the coloured ring on it and worked no problem. All companies have to do is update their tops so I'm not sure why that one is getting people up in a huff.

The coloured ring is what you're looking for on the new cups.

The coloured ring is what you're looking for on the new cups.

Anyway, if you’re looking for a really nice coffee maker, this new Keurig 2.0 has all the nice features of the old machines but has been jacked up to be one sweet coffee ride. I highly recommend it so add it to your holiday list or just say, "Screw it, I need a nice coffee maker now" and just yourself one.

You can find them on Keurig.ca in Canada, and in the U.S. you can find them on Keurig.com and Amazon.

* I called customer service twice just to make sure I was clear on the details for writing this review. Both times I got nice women that live in Georgia. Let me tell you something, if you have a 1-800 number for angry customers I strongly recommend you fill your call centre with women from Georgia. Their strong, yet soothing tones punctuated with “ma’am” would be able to talk anyone out of consumer rage within seconds. I may call back on a day when I’m feeling a little down and have them sing “soft kitty” to me.

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Tiny Overlord is Getting Stronger

A reader sent me this thread from Reddit (I still don't understand how it works) and I just howled with laughter. You can find the original post from userbelowisamonster here.

– Amy

I don't know what went wrong.

For a while the tiny Overlord seemed pleased with his offerings of the finest breads, sauces, and cheeses. The most decadent of steamed vegetables and seasonings and the occasional blessing of sweets.

I'm writing this to you to let you know that I'm in hiding, but I'm okay.

It wasn't t an overnight change! I didn't see the signs! He was so happy. His energy and grace was well received in our small clan and the guardians couldn't have been happier. Looking back life made so much sense!

Then as the third year of lord monster's existence within our clan approaches things began to...change.

The usual sacrifices of chickens dipped in the finest flours were being rejected. We would offer more goods in the hopes of being rewarded with nap times and appropriate social behavior, but he would still have none of it.

His slumber were bought with bargains of keeping his playthings and gadgets, but sleep still is aloof. The fiercest yells and the piercing screams of the tiny overlord's voice indicate that he isn't tired, but i can see it in his body language.

The Wil...hold on...I think he is coming...

Oh please Lord. God in Heaven...don't let him catch me. This is the most peaceful potty time I have had to myself all day...

Just don't let him hear you breathe...don't let him...

...

...

...

.

I think he is gone.

Send help. I am in need of rations, medical supplies because all my bad aids are now "stickers" and a fifth of ...

Oh my God. He heard me.

Tell my wife I

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Does Everybody Poop During Delivery?

Every so often I’m asked a question where I say, “Hmm, that’s a good question for a nurse,”  and pooping on the delivery table is one of them.

Seeing as I don’t attend many births (I was barely there for the two I did) I can’t say how common it is. All I can say is it was something I was VERY concerned about before I went into labor, then it was something that I couldn’t care less about during it – personally, I think the phrase “I don’t give a shit,” was coined by a woman giving birth.

But in the interest of knowledge, I asked Hilary from Pulling Curls about it because she’s an actual nurse (rather than a foul-mouthed Canadian sitting at home eating All Dressed potato chips) and may have a little insight on this gem.

Here's the poop:

Hello Pregnant Chickens, I'm Hilary, from Pulling Curls  – your friendly neighborhood Labor and Delivery nurse here to answer your probing {haha} questions on pregnancy.  Believe me, no question is too stupid, no answer will be too graphic.  For instance, here's the question du jour:


Q:

"Will I poop during delivery?  I will be moritified.  How can I stop it?"

-- Ashley (asking for a friend of course)


A:

Well, Ashley, that's a pretty normal question.  I get it at almost every prenatal class I teach. Here are five things to consider:

1. 

It is less likely to happen if you go into labor on your own.  You will often clean yourself out during early labor at home.  If you come in for an induction, you miss out on that part.

2. 

Doctors used to order enemas.  You don't want that.  Also, it didn't really help and just made labor even LESS fun.  We will NOT do them anymore.  I've had patients ask and the doctors just laugh.

3. 

It is humanly impossible to clench the poop-exit area, while not clenching the baby-exit-area.  Hence, you'll be pushing against closed muscles.  Average pushing time on your first baby is 2 hours.  You don't need anything preventing delivery.  

4. 

It's what we do.  We clean-up poop, and vomit, and urine, and blood.  The nurse will stick a cloth there and clean you up regularly.  It is NOT a big deal for us.  Also, we are happy to see it, because it means you ARE pushing in the right area.  That is a happy thing!

5. 

If you do (and frankly, the majority do) no one will ever talk about it.  If they do, you need to question your relationship with them.  Gosh darn it, that baby pushes RIGHT on that area, it's humanly impossible to prevent it.  In the immortal words of our friend Elsa.  Let it go. :)

 

So, those are my thoughts on pooping.  Got any other questions?

Unlike me, Hilary is a nurse who has worked in various medical fields for the past 14 years, however, none of the information on this blog should be substituted for the care of a physician. You're smart. You get it. Call your doctor if something seems weird.

Hilary is a part time labor and delivery nurse/prenatal class teacher and full time mother of 3.  She knows labor makes people nervous and she's here to help! :)  You can find her talking about pregnancy and families at Pulling Curls or by signing-up for her newsletter.

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