How to Give a Newborn a Bath

I used to get really anxious about bathing my baby because infants are squirmy greased water balloons when they are wet. I mean here you’re trying to clean something with very little neck control while keeping their head above water. No pressure there.

Actually, It’s not as hard as it sounds, all you need a few simple tools and you’re ready to roll.

Bathtub:

This is where your anxiety and wallet play the biggest roll. If you’re nervous like I was and have the cash, then go all out and get something kick ass so it’s one less thing to worry about.

If you’re easy peasy like my friend, stick a towel in the bottom of the tub and fill the bath with about an inch of water and lay the baby on the towel and wash away. Yes, yes, I’m screaming “Ears!! What about the baby’s ears!!!” in my head too but she assured me that water didn’t get in the baby’s ears and you can’t get much cheaper than free.

For the record, it’s advised that you try to avoid getting water in your baby’s ears when they are in the bath to reduce the risk of ear infections but it isn’t cause for panic either.

PRIMO Eurobath got huge props online and I love how you can use it for both stages of scary baby bathing – wet fish stage, and flip-backwards-crazy-daredevil-no-concept-or-drowning stage. You can stick in on a counter when they are wee so you’re not bending over to wash them, and you can put it in the bathtub when they are older so you’re not filling a whole tub. For me, the biggest key on this is the “crotch stop” (I’m sure that’s not what they call it) but it’s the thing that stops the baby from sliding down so your hands are free to wash them.

Blooming Bath is a fantastic way to bath a baby in a sink without feeling like you’re washing your baby in the same spot where you wash carrots. It’s nice and soft and cozy, and hangs up to dry. They show a faucet over the baby in the picture, but I would fill the sink with water then fill a cup to rinse them off rather than use the faucet directly unless you have really reliable water temperature consistency. Sorry, my bath phobia is showing again, isn’t it?

Summer Infant Comfy Bath Sponge or the Summer Infant Fold N' Store Tub Time Bath Sling (as seen in my Baby on a Budget Post) To me this is like the towel in the tub but less scary. It’s a nice, inexpensive solution that’s quick drying and easy to store. So much so that I can ignore the nutty photoshop job on the sponge baby suspended in the bath with moms superimposed arms (insert designer shudder).

As for baby washes, there are tons out there. My advice is to check out Cosmetic Database to make sure the one you like isn’t full of crap. I was quite partial to the Aveeno line and Dr Bronners because they're a nice reasonably priced wash that was readily available and not full of junk.

Satsuma Designs Organic Wash Cloths and Wipes 5 Pack: Unlike towels, I do prefer wash cloths that are solely for the baby because they are thinner allowing you to get into those little crevices, and you can let your baby gnaw on them knowing that your husband hasn’t used them to wash his ass at any point. I like the organic ones, but if that isn’t a big worry you can get the regular ones that tend to be less expensive.

Clevamama Splash and Wrap Hooded Towel: I didn’t really bother with special towels when bathing my kids, but I do really like the idea of this hooded towel that you wear like an apron them scoop them up in it. It’s also reasonably price at around $20.

Got all your gear? Good! Let’s wash this kid!

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Step One:

Get everything you need locked and loaded before you put this weeble in water. Get the clothes or jammies, towel, soap, etc. out so you’re not running around with a cold, wet baby looking for things.

 

Step Two:

If you’re not dealing with a messy back poop, feel free to layout a towel and do this sponge bath style and just grab a bowl of warm water.

I should also note that some site advise that you wait until circumcisions and umbilical cords heal (a couple of weeks after birth) before doing anything but sponge baths, but I found just as many sites that gave the go ahead so don’t panic if you get them wet before that time. It looks like they aren’t Gremlins after all. Dang.

Fill the sink, tub, pickle barrel, or whatever you’re bathing them in with warm water. If you’re bringing them in a bath with you, fill the tub beforehand so you’re not acclimatizing yourself to the heat then adding more and more hot so you’re swimming in lava by the time you add in the baby.  You’re shooting in the area of 100 degrees Fahrenheit or 38 degrees Celsius.

As for temperature ducks and thermometers, feel free to get them if it helps put you at ease but they aren’t essential. Some sites say that you have to use your elbow to test the bath but I must have freakish elbows because I really couldn’t tell if it was hot or not there. I found my hand worked fine.

Bath toys are great too but you don’t have to have them and they are just as happy to play with the cup and the washcloth.

 

Step Three:

Get ‘em wet. Some sites go into great detail about gently putting a baby in feet first and easing them in like a great yacht on their maiden voyage but it really isn’t that tricky. Put the baby in the water any way but head first and you should be fine.

Tips and Threats: Don’t leave your baby in the bath unattended…ever. I don’t care if Channing Tatum is ringing the doorbell in his underpants, you either ignore it or scoop that kid up to answer the door and say “Perfect timing, Channing, I was just finishing up so please make yourself comfortable and fold that basket of laundry while you wait” Babies can drown in less than an inch of water in less than 60 seconds so don’t mess around with that.

 

Step Four:

I liked to add a little wash to a wet facecloth then work my way down from top to bottom. Some friends used to add the wash to the bathwater go from there. Either is fine. I used to use a small, plastic cup to rinse them off and either used a wet washcloth to rinse any soap off their face or held it on their forehead to shield their eyes while rinsing their hair.

 

Step Five:

Lay the towel out on the floor or counter then lay your baby on it and wrap ‘em up, or toss the towel over your shoulder then lift the baby out, hold them on your chest and fold them into the towel. I used to take them back to their room and lay them on their change table for the lotion rub down, diaper, and jammies

That’s it! Congratulations, you have a clean kid!

Above all, don’t sweat it too much. If your newborn has nothing but sponge baths for the first 6-months of her life, no biggie – she isn’t working in a coal mine. If your baby loves baths, go for it. Water is a ton of good clean fun and baths are a nice way to break up the day.

Either way, have fun, stay safe and say “hi” to Channing for me.

Best Gifts for a New Mom

It’s really hard to find a nice gift for a new mother sometimes. Do you get something practical? Sentimental? Is it someone you want to go all out for, or someone you just want to give a small gesture?

Well, here are a few ideas that go beyond the flowers and silver rattles for some kick ass stuff that a new mom will really enjoy.

I’m going to start with the gesture stuff and work my way up. All too often sites and magazines launch into gifts that Jay Z would give someone with a private island, and not something you’d like to give your next-door-neighbour that you only chit chat with over the fence.

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Food:

I don’t think you can ever go wrong with food – well, I guess you can if you’re a shitty cook but I’m going to leave that to your judgment. Give her something she can pop in the freezer if she’s already overloaded with goodies and give it to her in something she doesn’t have to give back like an oven ready baking dish. If you can, try to make things you can eat with one hand or with just a fork as an extra bonus for someone that's holding a baby a lot.

If you’re feeling really cool, you can set up a Meal Baby or Meal Train account so you can get everyone feeding these folks for a while.

What’s that you say? You really can’t cook or you live far away? There’s a service called The Meal Stork that will deliver a delicious home-style meal right to her door. It ain’t cheap but it sure beats a giant flower arrangement that does sweet bugger all, plus, they have lasagna. Bring it to mah belly!

Diapers:

If you know they're going the disposable route, a pack of the next size up diapers are often an over looked yet welcomed gift for new parents because there’s always those “shit we’re out of diapers” moments when your stash runs low.

There’s also a wicked service called Diaper Dabbler that will send a sampler pack of different diapers so she can get a feel for which one work for her without buying a whole box.

Cloth diapers are a little trickier because you tend to go with a certain brand, but if you know what she using and want to buy some, by all means, go for it. I knew a couple of people that used cloth and used disposable as a backup, but tread lightly there because some people may take exception to you offering up disposable when they've opted for cloth.

Goodie Bag:

One of the best gifts I ever received was from a friend that is a veteran mom of three. She gave me a little bag filled with a reusable water bottle, trashy magazines, chocolate bars, small bags of almonds, chapstick and a gift certificate to a coffee place I could walk to. I used all of it. All of it.

 

Time:

One of the best things you can give a new mom is your time. If you're a good friend of hers, then there’s nothing better than having someone take you out for a walk, or sit on the couch to chat, or hold your baby while she has a shower. Say something like “I could pop by for a visit next Tuesday or Thursday. If that would work for you let me know what time is convenient and I’ll bring lunch (breakfast, the car so we can go out for a bite).” Just make sure you aren’t adding to her workload. If she’s a really tidy person by nature she may not want you seeing her dirty house and stay up all night cleaning it when she should be napping.  If she’s not up to it, leave it alone and opt for something else – there are entire Facebook threads dedicated to asshats that demand to come over and hang out with new parents. Don’t be that asshat.

I also love these beautiful cards from IOU letterpress for a tangible gift of errands, a load of laundry, etc. rather than just saying "call me if you need something". 

On a side note, if you are the new mom, here's a few tips for handling visitors.

 

Netflix:

Netflix would have changed my damn life if I’d had it when my son was born. It wasn't around at the time so I just watched the Food Network. A lot. Then I figured out that I could rent a movie and watch it during the night when I was feeding him. I slept on the couch and he slept beside me in a bassinet. When he’d wake up I would feed him and watch the movie. When he’d fall asleep I would put him back down and pause the DVD. It would have been awesome to have something like Netflix for the round-the-clock schedule of a newborn. You can get a one-month subscription for $8 so it's not a bank breaker either.

 

Day You Were Born Box:

It’s a really neat keepsake to have a collection of what was going on the day your baby was born. New parents are often kinda busy on that day, so if you pick up newspaper clippings, photos, notes, etc. and leave some places where mom and dad can pop all the odd keepsakes that come along, you'll be saving them a ton of leg work. You can find the instruction here on spoonful.com.

 

Keepsakes:

If you want something that’s more sentimental than practical (I’m looking at you dads) then you may want to go the keepsake route. I love this initial necklace from Soul Peaces but I have a whole board on Pinterest dedicated to incredible keepsakes that will remind her that she’s a kick ass mother if you're looking for some more inspiration.

 

Subscription Boxes:

I think subscription boxes are an incredible idea. Gifts, like visitors, often come in a flurry in the beginning but peter out when you are really feeling the toll of parenthood, so these are such a beautiful idea to keep the good times rolling. You can get everything from diapers, to cookies, to clothes and you don’t have to be up on your baby stuff to send them – these guys do all the work for you.

This one is from Mommies First but you can check out my Subscriptions for New & Expectant Parents board too.

If you’re giving a gift to a new mother who has an older child, consider getting a subscription for them instead. Not only will it occupy the kiddo while mom is getting the hang of the new weeble, it’s a nice reminder to the older child that they still count. I really love these craft boxes from Green Craft Kids and the Eye Can Art Kits. They are appropriate for both boys and girls ages 3-8 and have all the goods in the box so you aren't rummaging around for glue with a newborn trying to latch onto your boob.

 

 

Postpartum Doula:

Pardon? These exist? Why didn’t I know about them when I had my babies?! 

A Postpartum Doula is like that newborn pro that comes to the house. She can help you get over breastfeeding hurdles, keep an eye out for post partum mood disorders, and generally provide a hands-on education on mother and infant care.

They aren’t cheap (nor should they be) and run around $20 - $35 from what I can tell, but if you have a large family or a company that is itching to buy you something big, I can’t think of a better gift. Here’s a link to find one in your area.

 

Give a gift to someone else:

If you're buying for a mom that really has it all, I don’t think you can ever go wrong with helping other moms. For $12 you can buy a newborn checkup from Plan Canada. For a hundred bucks you can buy a birthing kit to deliver 50 babies from Unicef – 50 babies! 

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It's always nice to congratulate new moms (and dads) on the new addition to their family and help out a little even if the gesture is small. After all, it takes a village to raise a child – and, if you're lucky – a postpartum doula. 

"How Do I Know if I'm in Labor?"

This seems like a no brainer, right? You start feeling contractions at 40 weeks and you give birth. Easy peasy.

Well, the signs aren’t always that simple. As you know, there are many burps and toots and that go along with pregnancy so it’s often hard to tell what’s just a random pain, puddle or purdle, and when it’s really show time.

Plus, very few women go into labor on their due date (fewer than 5%) so try not to do what I did and count down the days to your due date figuring that’s when the baby would get here because it rarely happens and you’ll be one grouchy land manatee.

How do you know if you’re in labor though?

 

Passing your mucus plug. 

Ah yes, the mucus plug. Once again medical professions have outdone themselves with the most disgusting terminology they could come up with.

Essentially you’ve lost the seal that kept your cervix closed for the pass nine months. It may come out as a lump or as increased discharge over a few days. The mucus may be tinted with red or brown, which is referred to as “bloody show”. Yep, bloody show.

I think we should refer to it as a baby cork and womb sealant.

No need to worry because it just means that the lid is off – labor could start in a couple of hours or even a couple of weeks. Just mention it to your medical practitioner when you see them next. Unless there’s blood, like real bright red bleeding, which could indicate issues with your placenta so shuffle off to hospital stat if you spot that.

 

Contractions

Contraction are a good hint but Braxton Hicks contractions are always lurking to make you feel like a dummy for hitting the “show time” button. Try walking around if you have them though. Braxton Hicks contractions usually fade if you’re up and moving around versus sitting. Contractions also tend to get more intense with walking so that’s a good clue. If they start coming at regular intervals and increase in frequency, you’re probably ready to rock and roll. What you’re waiting for is 1-5-1, which is having contractions that are 1 minute long, every 5 minutes, for 1 hour. If you’re high risk your practitioner will probably want you in sooner.

 

Water breaking.

You know how in movies a woman is always standing at a party while she delivers her “Oh my God, my water just broke” line accompanied by a gush of water? Well, this doesn’t happen to many women. In fact, most women are well into labor before their water breaks.

It is more likely to be a leak rather than a gush although those are sometimes hard to distinguish from sneaky urine and vaginal discharge, which are two other delightful side effects when you’re this pregnant. Easiest way to tell if you’re leaking amniotic fluid is to lie down. The fluid will pool in your vagina and come out when you stand up – pee and discharge won’t do that.

If you find you are leaking, pack yourself up and assume that you’ll be giving birth shortly. Once your water breaks you’ll either go into labor in the next 24 hours or your practitioner will start it for you.

Oh, if the fluid is green or brown call your doctor or midwife right away because that’s a sign that your baby may have pooped in utero and you don’t want the little monkey ingesting that.

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If you want to try kick starting your labor you can try some of these tips, but unless you’re coming up on the 42 week mark or have a medical condition that would deem you high risk, most medical professionals suggest you leave it alone and let the little weeble bake as long as they feel necessary.

So stay tuned, my darlin’ and use this time to answer the phone saying “No, the baby isn’t coming yet and I’m charging everyone $5 that asks me that from now on.” By my calculations you should have roughly $45,675 by the time you give birth.

Hang in there.

Give Baldy Your Tit Book

In an effort not to get banned from Facebook, I figured I post this here.

I have no idea if this book existed. If it did I would like to read it.