Are high heels okay when I'm pregnant?

Many sites advise pregnant women not to wear high heels because it won't be comfortable. How about we go ahead and let the pregnant lady decide what is and isn't comfortable, dillhole? After all, it's not like you'd walk around with a pencil shoved up your nose unless a doctor told you not to do it. "Well, that's not comfortable, Karen, stop it."

The other old chestnut is that your balance will be off because you're like Timer from the Saturday Morning Cartoons in the 70s – all giant and dumpy on top with little stick legs supporting your girth – and therefore more likely to fall. Er, okay.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you're all bright enough to realize when you're too tippy in your stripper heels or Louboutins, so go for it. Although, if they do happen to get away from you, do me a favour and scream "a hanker for a hunka cheese!" as you fall. Thanks.