Cake Wrecks – Baby Shower Edition

I love Cake Wrecks and if you haven't checked out the site, then get over there because it's like lucite stripper shoes – sometimes tacky, sometimes scary and always awesome.

I asked Jen if I could pull a couple of the shower cakes for a post, you can imagine how thrilled I was when she said "go for it".

Let me tell ya, I was not disappointed in the plethora of batshit cakes that people serve up at baby showers.

Here are just a few that are as tasty as electric-blue, store bought frosting:

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"What? I thought it was spelled "Tschower". Godammit. Hand me that rag, would ya?"

 
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I love Babbies. The more 'b's the better. (Unless it's actually 'Baffies'. Now that would be stupid.)

 
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"Just a sliver of giant tit for me, please. I'm trying to watch my weight."

 
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Nothing says "edible" quite like an abdomen gash with a hand sticking out.

 
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This is actually a really beautiful cake until you realize you have to cut into a sleeping infant. No, that's not disturbing or anything.

 
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Again, we have to cut this cake, people. I don't want to eat half of a baby's face (judging from the photo, I'd eat the whole head but I wouldn't be happy about it.)

 
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Why do I feel like it was the 18-year-old brother's job to get the cake?

 
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It is important that we all know why we are gathered here today. Stick lady + cup of sperm = heart, baby, heart. All together now...

 
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I'm really hoping this isn't what Tristan looked like. If it was, then my bad and I tip my hat to your charming cake.

 
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WTF is happening here? Why is a burnt ET sitting on top of a t.v.? Welcome to the world, Ethan. You're surrounded by nuts.

 
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Maybe the parents decided to name this child "Finally" regardless of gender because I can't even figure out what they were going for here.

 
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Oh, it's a baby BABY shower. Crap, I need to get another card.

 
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I have no idea what they find weird about this cake?! Maybe the woman they were having the shower for wasn't named Olivia. Now *that* would be awkward.

 
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Actually, this is exactly how Connie gave birth – surrounded by rosettes while her giant boob-balls rolled into her mouth.

 
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Yes, congratulations on your headless baby, now let's eat its feet.

 
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Mmmmm, uterus.

 
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What you can't see is Uncle Bob's interpretive dance that goes along with this cake. It's all about learning through poetry and movement.

 
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Is it worse to eat a beautiful baby cake or a creepy one? Creepy cake babies have rights too, you know.

 
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This is possibly the best cake I have ever seen. If I had witness this cake in 1977, my head would have exploded or I would have done something like this. With the protection of Darth Vader in an acid tripping, air-brushed universe, that lucky little baby can't lose. She just can't lose.

 
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This isn't even a cake but I am horrified that someone has taken the two things I love most – meatloaf and bacon – and molded it into the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. Excuse me while I go bleach my eyes.

 

So there you have it. Now get out there and get your creepy "babby" cake holding a cup of sperm and some bacon. Happy showers, Peeps!

Oh but wait, there's more. It gives me such joy to think you guys see a crazy ass baby shower cake and think of me. Here's a couple you've sent that I think are just magic: 

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Golly that's a lot of detail -- "Grandma, can I interest you in a slice of taint?"

 
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After I got over the initial shock of these cupcakes, I decided they were awesome like a cat playing piano. Gimme two! 

 
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Wow. Just wow. This cake is so entirely awesome that I can't handle it. First I saw the head. Nice. Then I saw the strawberries. It really is an art to make strawberries disturbing. Then, and only then, did I happen to notice the sprinkles for the asshole. 

This truly is a cake of many layers. 

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