Birthing Dolls
A reader told me about these birthing dolls and I had never heard of them.
It seems that these are made to help children (or clueless adults) understand how babies come into the world.
Part of me "gets it" but the other part of me thinks you're just going to add to any confusion and/or possibly traumatize a kid with some of these.
All that aside, I'm sure it is very relaxing to crochet an umbilical chord.
Because everyone smiles with pert breasts throughout their labours.
I'm sorry, does this child have a bow in its wild tuffet of hair or are those just highlights?
The little snap mouth takes it to a strange S&M level for me.
If we're going for a realistic birth experience, can we work on the teddy bear hip joints here? Again, there seems to be a bow happening in this infant's hair.
With the dress done up, this would look like an average doll and no one would suspect that she's rockin' a slammin' rack with a baby tucked in her vajaja like a prom secret.
So your placenta goes in a little cup while your baby snaps onto your turnip breast with a water birth?
I LOVE that someone felt a bra, hat and shoes were necessary for these dolls. You know, so it doesn't get weird or anything.
A tiny hat so the naked baby doesn't catch a chill.
Please tell me that this doll with the rocket boobs and 70s bush wasn't presented to any child to explain birth – a therapy fund should be set aside for them in their late teens if it was. (I think this doll may also have a hernia. She may want to have that looked at by her Knittyologist)
Frankly, I find this Zombie Birthing doll the most accurate, as the nauseated mother looks like she's yelling at her kid as its crawling off to break something.
As always, your welcome.
38 Comments
Reader Comments (38)
Just thank you.
no, but i'm GENUINELY disturbed by this. GENUINELY.
I love that zombie mum...and I love you for presenting her to us xx
Uhhhh.... I agree with the zombie mom representing most accurately, but good LORD, these things are just creepy.
All I have to say is....oh my sweet lord! Who comes up with this stuff? And I LOVE your comments on these!!
oh em gee. i may have just hyperventilated a bit. that was too overwhelming for 8 AM. those crochet dolls are too frightening for words! green? and a trap door stomach? amazing!
AHAHAHAHA... This is both REALLY AMUSING and TERRIFYING. I do love that the parent dolls kinda look like they were just quickly hooking up in the back of their dad's honda (don't take off your shoes, they might get lost under the seat!).
I *think* these dolls might raise more questions then answers....
It's just all sorts of wrong and now I am even more terrified to give birth. I hope I don't turn green and I am also now reflecting on whether or not a bikini wax is in order before the big day.
Gah! I did kint a pregnant doll while I was pregnant with my second baby but there was no exit for the baby, it was just a knitted doll with a big belly and it was made for me as a way to relax myself and think about labour and get all good-vibey. It's now in my daughter's memory box.
But to make a doll where the baby pops out??? Unless it's anotomically accurate and used for childbirth education purposes, I don't understand!!!! Super funny.
This is disturbing on so many levels I can't even think straight to form a comment. My only thought at this point is: where is the doll with the c-section and spinal headache??
Bloody hell, that'll do any kid for six and turn them off to the joys of the flesh for ever.
When I was in the throes of labour with my first kid, the midwife asked me if I wanted to see him being born. I hollered back, "Are you f*cking kidding me? There's a reason I wasn't born with mirrors on my knees! No! A thousand times no, wummin!"
This is hilarious! I can't wait to show it to my pregnant sister. The 70's bush killed me!!
The second to last one (the one with the hernia) looks like the horribly creepy girl from "The Ring"...I may have nightmares ;)
Very disturbing!
I just threw up in my mouth a little...
Ummmmm. .. why? why? why?
I'm going to go crochet a good old fashioned stork right about NOW!! Wonder how many of those I could sell;)
eeeek!!
Wow. I've given birth three times and these disturbed ME. There's no way in hell I'd show my kids these dolls, esp. the ones that look like little kids but with fully adult hairy genitals. Scarred for life, they'd be. I laughed my head off in that carnival side show way...horrified but entertained. Thanks!!
Perhaps these are what should be shown in Health class in high school? Forget any lectures about the consequences! Show these..umm, babies and you'll have every teenager scared straight! It will also help with population control because I'm sure the teens will grow up terrified to ever give birth for fear of a trap door opening in their stomach and the baby crawling out!
Good God!
Reading "70s bush" made me pee a little.
I am busting up here! I teach childbirth education and try to take the serious out of it... and just when you think you hear it all, you have not. I think I will be spending hours on your site as well as following!
So if you look really closely, the doll that's rocking the 70's bush actually looks like an alien. Under all that hair. Or maybe she is supposed to be an alien.
@Manda - YES, GET A BIKINI WAX!
...Because crusty blood and goop and junk just doesn't feel great when caught up in a bunch of post-birth pubic hair. Just saying.
PS - my mom totally rocked a 70's bush. And no, she doesn't access the Internet.
One more thing...did you notice how the mommy doll with the bra has NOT ONE, BUT TWO BABIES ATTACHED TO UMBILICAL CORDS coming out her hidey hole? That would REALLY scare some high school kids into abstinence!
oh dear God i pray no one ever buys these things for their kids. you're not kidding about the therapy fund..... i can't even imagine the look on my kids' faces if i ever showed these to them. my daughter is asking me what i was laughing at as i looked at this post.... 'oh, um.....NOTHING. just let it go.'
Oh Piper, (eye wipe) "hidey hole". That has been tucked in my pocket for future use.
Oh my, I don't know what to say. I won't go buy any....