My name is Amy Morrison and I'm the broad behind the bird.
In my former life I was a creative director at an ad agency but decided to quit and go freelance as an art director/graphic designer in 2004.
My fella and I have two little boys (born in 2006 and 2008) that are the apples of my eye, the light of my life and the pain in my ass. We love them more than bacon.
We live in Toronto in the semi-burbs with our geriatric cat and the occasional carpenter ant.
Not enough you say?
Well, here are a couple random details about me:
- I can guarantee everything I post on this site will have an error in it even though I read it 50 times.
- I think David Sedaris is the funniest person on the planet. I don't ever want to meet him because I'd just start crying like a Justin Bieber fan and pass out in a puddle of my own urine – I can't imagine that would make a very good impression.
- I have very eclectic taste in music. I listen to ABBA, Frank Zappa, The Mills Brothers, Tom Jones, AC/DC, The Housemartins, opera, crunk and everything in between.
- I'm not a big fan of chocolate. I know that makes me dead to some people.
- I'm painfully shy but compensate for it by acting like an asshat.
- Behind every picture in my house there are about four holes where I have previously hung it only to decide it was too high/low/dumb.
- I have trouble understanding accents which makes me feel both racists and ignorant. I find Scottish accents particularly difficult.
- I have a number of outfits in my summer wardrobe that are technically bathing suit cover-ups but I wear them as clothes.
- I have a crush on the Blue Wiggle. I've even Googled him.
- I really like bird watching and gardening so I should ease into old age quite seamlessly – coffee with dinner is only a matter of time.
- I don't get poetry that doesn't rhyme, jazz or long distance running no matter how hard I try or how many people tell me how wonderful it is.
- I have an irrational fear (yes, I'd say phobia) of heights and mascots. I would be screwed if my only escape from the A&W Bear was up a ladder.
- I have an uncanny ability to identify dog breeds and I'm not sure where that came from.
- My most favourite sound in the world is the sound of my kids chewing.
- I have never dated a man that needed corrective eye wear. I must sense something is off like in Species. I just wish I could fire my tongue through the back of someone's head. For the record, I wear contact lenses AND I have allergies.
- I address my children as Bug, Bear, Bobby Buttons, Mr Bojanggles, Buddy, Baboo and Snicky Snake and rarely by their names.
- I wish I could speak chinese and play banjo. Nothing would be cooler than to scream "ni hao" then launch into a blue grass lick.
- I am flabbergasted when I don't win the lottery. I'm not sure if that's optimism or stupidity, or both.
- If I'm going to be eating dinner alone I can almost guarantee I'll have spaghetti.
- I keep the pictures people send me in Christmas cards.
- My eldest was diagnosed with moderate autism when he was three.
- I've never left fries on my plate.
- I wish I could get a tan.
- I swear a lot.
- I used to model professionally in the Ukraine but gave it up to pursue my love of civil war reenactment (I also lie when I've run out of things to tell you).
That's how I roll, son.